Don’t Stop Believing…

27 Jan

Yes we haven’t stopped believing but we have been devastated this past week. Monday morning at 1:30 brought a call from the social worker that the birth mom who choose us was in labor. We dropped the Wee-woods off at the Grand-woods and arrived at the hospital just minutes after he was born. We got to be the first to hold him, see his first bath, give him his first bottle. It was wonderful. Later that day got to be rocky and then things got better. The roller coaster wasn’t fun. We did everything we could to support the birth mom in her decision. Before I left for dinner she asked if I could come back in the morning. I showed up the next day and spent 4 hours with her. Many people were in and out of her room and around lunch I excused myself and went to eat. When I came back she had called her social worker and told her she had decided to parent. This was hard to take…she had previously showed little interest in caring for him but it’s her decision. I shortened the story but lets just say we had some amazing friends that knew every hill and valley of this event.

I feel just like I did when we had our miscarriage…shall it be called a misparent? We feel the same loss even though we guarded our heart (yes I realize there is no loss of life like a miscarriage). In reference to the baby…I wouldn’t do anything differently next time. I didn’t call him by the name we have chosen for him and I often thought well digital film makes it easy to delete if she decides to parent. It took a while for me to cut off my arm bracelet and I still haven’t thrown it away. It represents hope. I know there will be another baby to be born that a mother will put up for adoption.

Overall, I’ve learned to be more assertive…but then again not too much to deter the birth mom. We know ministry is difficult and anyone in ministry has shed lots of tears for what they love and those they minister to. If for nothing else I showed her how a mother truly can love and care for a child, how a husband and wife love each other, God’s love, and prayed many prayers of thanksgiving and blessings into the baby’s life.

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