Archive | June, 2012

Don’t stop believing…

26 Jun

Over the past coupe of weeks I think that I have come to somewhat of a revelation.  It really isn’t anything that has not been completely true since eternity past, but it is something that I have become cognizant of recently.  I love the book of Habakkuk in the Bible!  It is such a rich book.  I encourage you to go read it, but read it carefully and with a good, scholarly commentary close by.  I have had Habakkuk 2:3 rolling around in my head constantly for the past couple of weeks.  I wasn’t really sure why at first.  I mean, I know that it is one of She-Wood’s favorite verses, but it just seemingly randomly crossed my thoughts about 2 weeks ago and has been there ever since.  Here’s what Habakkuk 2:2-3 says,

“And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”

Man those are strong words directly from God!  Now I understand that in context, these words are directed at Israel during a time of rebellion.  However, there is incredible insight that I can glean from these words about the character of God.  In the New American Commentary on Micah, Nahum Habakkuk, and Zephaniah, Waylon Bailey writes this concerning Habakkuk 2:3,

“Impatience is the normal human response to God’s promise to answer his people.  God warned the prophet to wait on the prophecy.  The answer of God would surely come, but the prophet should write down the message because from the prophet’s point of view the prophecy might seem slow…God had already decided upon a solution and would reveal it according to his timetable, but God was not indebted to any human to reveal the answer before he chose to.  Habakkuk, like all of us, was living ‘between the times,’ between the promise and the fulfillment” (pg. 323).

All I can say is that is exactly where I have been lately.  As you probably know, She-Wood and I are in the process of adopting.  We have been in the process for 16 months now.  It seems at times like it will never actually happen.  I have felt at a couple different points over the last couple of months like we will never get a little boy to be a part of our family.  But then last Monday we get a call from our social worker that there is a birthmother who they were going to be showing profiles to.  The only thing was that the child she was making an adoption plan for was a 17 month old little girl. (We have been in the process to get a newborn little boy.)  We were faced with a big decision.  After a lot of prayer, both on our part and the part of many others, we decided to let our profile be shown.  We don’t want the decision process of what child God has for us to be in our hands.  We want God to decide that for us.  Anyways, the profile was shown on Wednesday.  Unfortunately, we were not chosen, and yet again we are still waiting.

It was after this time of not being chosen again that I began to realize why Habakkuk 2:3 had been rolling around in my mind for the past 2 weeks.  God was preparing me for the rejection of not being chosen before I was even aware that there was a possibility we could be chosen.  You see, I have come to realize that God already knows and has already chosen the perfect child for us in His amazing foresight and sovereignty.  Just like Bailey said in his commentary, God already has the solution to our situation picked out and decided, but he in no way whatsoever is obligated to reveal that to me or She-Wood.  And I am okay with that.  This is where faith comes into play.  I know that God has called us to adopt.  I know that he has lead us through these trials that we have faced over the past 16 months in order to prepare and strengthen us for something that he has planned in the future.  And just as James says in James 1:12, if I am able to remain steadfast under these trials, then I will receive the crown of life that God has promised to me.

I am greatly encouraged by the words of God in Habakkuk 2:2-3 and James 1:12!  I know that God will continue to see us through this adoption journey, and He will be magnified, honored, and lifter high through the whole process and in the end. I won’t stop believing that God is in control, and that he will come through on his promise.

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There’s a raging sea, right in front of me

6 Jun

Tonight I wanted to talk about raging water. I was reading a blog post earlier here. Go read it…I’ll wait…okay now that you did I really want to talk about Noah and the flood waters. I love that she says the waters didn’t rage forever one day they subsided.  Tuesday marked the 1 year anniversary of the last day we had service at our previous church. The summer brought lots of hardships and many thunderstorms. I initially thought our waters would subside when He-wood got a new job…boy was I wrong. There have been many hardships during this trial and him getting a new job hasn’t been the end of the hardship. The job loss wasn’t the flood but for me the flood has been the lack of finances. It’s so frustrating for me because the only debt we’ve ever carried was our home and for a brief time a vehicle. 

It’s so frustrating to take a new job that pays less than the previous job (2 times in a row). Most people don’t understand but when you are in God’s will it makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to me now is how we can continue on this path. Our budget doesn’t really work on paper…which is something that scares me. We’ve tried cutting everything we can but there is no possible way I can see it working. 

I wish we were on day 39 and the rain was about to stop and we could hold out for dry land. I wish I didn’t have to say no so much…I know God is saying “Yes” to something better for us but why can’t it involve ballet, daddy daughter date nights, a new baby, and a debt free adoption.