Archive | September, 2012

When love takes you in everything changes, A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

20 Sep

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song about adoption entitled When Love Takes You In. While the lyrics are good it misses the fact that adoption while part of God’s plan isn’t without hurt. It isn’t without grief. My heart is burdened for Wee-wood 3’s birth mom. She has chosen a closed adoption but my earnest prayer is that her heart would change and she would want to at least have a semi-open adoption. We sense grief for Wee-wood 3 that while he’s not old enough to ask questions one day I’m sure he will ask what was my birth mom like, what did her voice sound like, why did she chose this for me and many other questions. You see it’s not just the birth mom that experiences hurt and grief through the process, but all involved. It also hurts us that we cannot share with her about Jesus. She may be a Christian but as of right now we will never know. 

There is so much left unanswered for our little man but I pray we raise him well, be an advocate for adoption, and always be prayerful that his birth mom would change her mind about the closed adoption. 


I’ve been waiting a long time for the moment to come…

11 Sep

Umm…yeah, so the last 6 days have been an absolute whirlwind to say the least!  This time last week She-wood and I were recovering from the end of the previous week when we had prayed really hard and felt God telling us to pass an opportunity for our adoption profile to be shown to a birthmother.  We were broken.  We were questioning God about the timing of this whole thing (adoption, that is).  We were wondering what God was trying to teach us through this two year long process.  We had come to the conclusion during the incidents of the previous week that we had to quit trying to force God’s hand into giving us a child.  Rather it was God who was the one in control, not us trying to help God understand what we needed.  (You know in writing that even now I realize how dumb that sounds, but walk with me for a minute as I let you inside our hearts for a minute.)

We had begun to become so impatient with this process.  We thought to ourselves, “God we have done everything that needs to be done.  What are You waiting on?”  How arrogant!  To think that we were waiting on God to get His act together and make this adoption happen.  I honestly believe that God has been waiting on us to get to the point spiritually where we were at a point that we are fully relying on Him and His provision.  For so long we have been hustling to do everything in our power to make this adoption move, but in actuality God has had a plan for us in place since before the foundations of the earth were laid and He is working out that plan.

Little did we know last Monday that our lives would be changed in less than a week.  We received a call Wednesday that there was a child for us.  A little boy who was, at that time, 6 days old, and that the at risk period to terminate maternal rights would be over at 5pm yesterday.  We were elated, scared, excited, and expectant!  We got to meet the little bugger on Friday.  It was surreal!  Holding this little boy in my arms that didn’t even weigh 6 pounds.  Trying my best to guard my heart from becoming too attached, knowing that there was the possibility that the birthmother could change her mind in the next three days.  But already, in my heart, falling in love with this perfect little guy.

We left the adoption agency office Friday afternoon, and I’m pretty sure that She-wood and I actually floated to the car.  Could this really be happening?  Were we really going to become a family of 5 in just three short days?  Would we be able to maintain our sanity for the weekend?  Would I have a stress ulcer when I woke up on Sunday from wondering about all of it?

Well, as of 5pm Monday September 10, 2012, we are now He-wood, She-wood, Wee-wood 1, Wee-wood 2, AND Wee-wood 3!!!!! God is so good!  After all of the paperwork, all of the classes, all of the doctors appointments, all of the fingerprints and background checks, and after all the waiting we were actually driving home with a little boy in our back seat.  And he is our son!

There have been times over the past 2 years that I have wondered if we had made the correct choice.   There were times when I had to question what God was doing.  There were times when I wondering if all of this was really worth it.  But this morning at about 5:15am as I sat there staring into the eyes of this perfect little boy and he smiled at me, any question of worth that I had was answered by God with a resounding, “YES, it was more than worth the past 2 years.  Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

I now have a better understanding of Romans 8:28.  “God works everything for the good of those who are called by His name, according to His purposes.”  That in no way means that everything is always going to be fun.  The past 2 years of waiting have been very difficult at times.  But it does mean that God will work everything in the end to His glory, and that is the good that I seek. His glory.