Written in pen

15 Feb

She-wood here after a LONG hiatus. I don’t know if this will be regular but I can try.

January 2014 I took out a lovely robins egg blue notebook and wrote a list. The top says Dreams…simple right?! It was I wrote things like have an awesome kitchen and entertain friends regularly. Then I wrote some crazy things like write a book and have a natural childbirth. Crazy right?! I mean I don’t regularly write, don’t have a platform, and don’t really know what the book would be about but I wrote it down anyways. Then I wrote down natural childbirth. Honestly, this has always been a dream but due to inductions and hemorrhaging has never happened. I always end up with that guilty feeling of feeling less than because I got the epidural. Which is dumb-I know that! What’s even dumber is to write down that “dream” when you are talking about adopting again…thats epidural free so it counts right?! JK then something happened…we call her Wee-wood 4. She was supposed to be induced on that morning in December but instead contractions started on their own…while waiting at the starbucks drive thru. I joked if they didn’t hurry she’d be born there! They started every 2 mins…after a few hours i had dilated just 1cm from the 5cm that i was the day prior. Things were painful and i always panic about how much it would hurt as they try to stop my bleeding after the baby is born so I consented to an epidural. So while trying to get that epidural I went from 6cm to her being there in less than 20mins. That’s how I my natural childbirth dream came true. Im stuck with a pain in my back from the epidural that came late and a beautiful baby as a reminder of that answered dream.

While I don’t know how many more of those dreams will be answered I’m praying that I’ll forever enjoy the memories of God’s faithfulness to allow us to dream and have them answered.

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